"If it's in French, it must be deep"

11 June 2001
Jamie explores a theory.

Deux amants s'agrippent à un ballon. S'elèvent, exhilirés, transportés, libérés des liens qui les attachaient au sol, où maintenant leurs amis s'écrient de joie et de jalousie, et les indiquent qui sont loins en haut. Agitation soudaine - tu es sûr? - mais le sourire leger et un toucher chaleureux te rassurent, et tu crois encore, et tu remontes, content.

Immediately the poet establishes the metaphor of love as a rising balloon. Note the repeated é and i vowels, evoking the delight felt by the lovers at the sensation of flight, and echoed in the excited cries of the friends below. The idea of love as transcendental is seen here for the first time, breaking the restrictive bonds which tied the couple to their dreary lives, and now sees them 'loins en haut'.

But even in this first stanza there is a sense of foreboding. S'agrippent demonstrates the tight hold on love in their close grip on the balloon's string, but also introduces the claustrophobia of a relationship (ne t'agrippe pas tant à moi - don't be so clingy). There is also the ambiguity of tu es sur? - not only 'are you sure?', but 'are you reliable, safe, trustworthy?' - and while the synaesthetic presence of the partner reassures the lover, the reader remains unconvinced.

Regarde en haut! - le ciel est si clair, ici entre la terre et les nuées. Mais ils sont bien loins les amis, on ne les entend presque plus; et tu te fatigues et t'inquiètes. Sensation de chaleur à ta main, vive contre le ciel froid, et tu aperçois quelque chose de nouveau dans les yeux de ton amant, un regard non de désir mais de dépendance, la peur d'être laissé tout seule ici en haut. Et cela n'est pas le réconfort que tu cherchais, mais un fardeau terrible, le soin d'une responsabilité, un lien, et tu te battes sans savoir si tu le désires ou que tu le crains...

The stanza begins with an almost defiant command - is the issuer demanding a look towards the future? - before the speaker is carried away with the celebration of the moment, the sense of perfect limbo, free of gravity, and is taken to use of the superfluously poetic 'nuées', from which we infer an increasingly tenuous grip on reality. Still the dominant phonetic presence is of light vowels and soft consonants, a bright but increasingly fragile idyll asking to be shattered.

And now comes the sudden feeling of constriction in the relationship; detached from their friends, the partner has become a hanger-on, a burden of dependence, and the bond which had elevated them has transformed into the self-same ties ('liens') they sought to escape at the start.

Tu t'agites de plus en plus - on peut respirer ici? Et pourquoi tu regardes toujours en bas? Mais il n'y a jamais de réponse, et tu te lasses de poser des questions.

Enfin, je te vois tout à fait desintéressé, comme si tu ne savais plus sourire. Juste un regard qui veut me dire Pardonne-moi, et tu lâches la corde sans dire un mot. J'essaie de t'attraper, mais tu refuses ma main et je te regarde comme tu tombes de ma vue et enfin je ne te vois plus.

The continued theme of constriction continues with the suggestion of a suffocating atmosphere in the thin air of high altitude, and the longing for a return to the previous life and the friends below. The prevailing tone of this stanza is flatness: the indifference of the leaver, and the helplessness of the suddenly deserted as the lover disappears from sight. The implications of the refusal of the hand are clear and yet beautifully understated.

Maintenant je suis tout seule ici. Je ne monte plus, ni ne descend, mais je sais que je ne peux pas y rester longtemps. Et puisque tu as été le premier je sais que la chute me fera plus de mal que toi...

Two final ambiguities - was the lover only the first to let go, and to fall, or was he 'the first', the taker of virginity and bringer of pain? And is this a statement of defeat - the fall will hurt me more than it hurt you - or of defiance - the physical act of falling will hurt me more than you ever could?

And one more question - is this a classic example of the French tradition of poèmes en prose, or pretentious European toss? Answers on a carte postale...